History of the World (as it should have been)


Medieval Kinieval Self catapolation/Arrow (or slingshot) Practice.

The American Invasion:

The gods tell the indians that the europeans are "MALA-HONDA" and to kill them. So one bright young chief invites Cortez to a mountain in the Desert, and explains:

"I have invited you here to day to pay tribute to you. I have seen the future, and the gods spoke of your name every where. There is a distant sea to be named 'The Sea of Cortez', there is to be 'Cortez, Colorado', and now, in your memory I present you with this symbolic Silver Dagger, on this place which is to be called "Cabeza De Cortez". He shows Cortez a dagger (its actually tinfoil), holding it loftily in the air.

CORTEZ "Cabeza de Cortez, what is that?" (All europeans will speak with an english accent, and the indians with a mexican accent).

INDIAN "It means Cortezez head, which will forever remain here!". And with that stabs it into Cor's throat, pulling his head back (behind body) so as to reach down and grab the previously prepared severed head), which he triumphantly holds high for all to see. "Es que, no me gusto tu cara mucho, Cabron!" As all the indians Cheer and hoot.

Later the indians go on to mercilessly attack the europeans, and then decide that they aren't worth the possibility of infection, and just burn their ships.